Instead of allowing them to remain in that state,  why not offer them some multiple choices for the question that you asked.

For instance if you ask, “What issues are you facing in your business?” and they stare back blankly, go into “Some people I visit with mention _______________, or __________________ or even _______________.  Do any of these issues resonate with you . . .  or might there be another?”

Keeping the buyer feeling ok through the sales process is a key component of making that sale.  What other techniques do you use for keeping the buyer from feeling “not ok”?

Use the phrase “I don’t suppose” in front of a request you’re making and experience the difference those words make. “Would you help me?” becomes “I don’t suppose you’d help me.”

Not only will you get a more enthusiastically positive response nine times out of ten; when they say “no,” you won’t have painted yourself into a corner. A simple “I didn’t think so” will keep the conversation moving forward without so much as an awkward moment.

Try it yourself. Let me know of your experiences right here.

I particularly like how he addresses the generational differences:

http://tech.fortune.cnn.com/2012/01/24/reid-hoffman-linkedin-startup-you/

Comments encouraged.

Heard a speaker this week express a theory that the people who couldn’t negotiate co-existence with the British moved to America; and those who couldn’t negotiate a co-existence in the eastern United States moved west. So our best negotiators are in New York and our worst on Rodeo Drive in California.

What are your theories about Americans’ lack of comfort around haggling?

That’s a huge stereotype to overcome. Where did it come from?

Let’s begin by not ever giving anyone a reason to apply one of those adjectives to us. We can change their perspectives.

What other adjectives do you think the average person uses when describing a salesperson?

The buyer’s willingness to mislead the salesperson to prevent themselves from being sold to; the sales person’s tendency to get emotionally involved in the outcome of the sale; and the fears that can get in a salesperson’s head – preventing him/her from calling high enough in an organization to talk to a decision maker are all common issues I’ve noted.

What other common salesperson issues have you noticed?

We started to tell him what we wanted when he stopped us and said, “Mind if we back up a minute? My name is Rich. And the two of you are ……?” – wanting us to introduce ourselves.

I’m sure that’s how he was taught to start the conversation, but we hadn’t cooperated, and he didn’t have enough flexibility in his system to not drag us back to the beginning – making us feel “not ok” as though we had done something wrong.

He didn’t know his system well enough to know that he could have picked up our names later in the conversation. The fact that it didn’t happen the first thing wasn’t a deal breaker.

What have sales people done or said to you that made you feel “not ok?”

We could start a list here to make sure we don’t commit these offenses with our buyers?

Cognitive psychologists say, “Change the way you think, that will change the way you feel, and you’ll change the way you behave.” A true statement.

Behavioral psychologists say, “Change the way you behave, and you’ll change the way you feel.” A true statement.

No doubt the most effective approach is somewhere within a mix of the two.

However, in both sales and management, my observation has been that the behavioral approach more often than not is what’s often called for.

As one speaker put it, “Courage is doing it scared.” If I wait for the feeling of “courage,” opportunity after opportunity might just pass me by.

What’s been your experience with these two approaches to changing your behaviors for the better? Which works best for you?